The Fannish Life

I know that I haven't posted in a long while. I'm not really good with journals. Too much commitment. Yet, I wanted to vent here on my life journal. I have a sister, Raychell who is addicted to drugs and gave birth to her first child, La-nique at 15 years old. Instead of growing up and taking care of her kids she left La-nique with my mother, stepped, and I. Later, because legally La-nique was still under legal custody of my sister, the little girl was taken away for at three months old. My mother and stepfather fought like bloody hell to get La-nique back. And they did--two years later. Now Raychell didn't learn her lesson with La-nique. In the two most recent years she gave birth two children. A girl named Faith, who is now a year and half years old. And little boy who is almost two months named Jaidain.

And you want to know whose taking care the kids...Take a good guess!

Yep that would be me, and my mother.

Three kids, and she is only turned 20 in July.

I can't help the bitter resentment that I feel that I'm the one who was responsible. The one that was careful with birth control and condoms. The person who said they would NEVER have children. Being assistant mom/nanny to her three children. I'm 25, and I have no life other than the kids. It's partly my own fault for being lazy, and my own since of familial duty. Yet, I hold my sister responsible too. She lives the party life style like she has no responsibilities. Then comes back for a visit or two and pretends she's mother's of the year. I hardly get any sleep any more, and I haven't slept in my own room since baby Jaidain was born. And I get so pissed off sometimes. that I can't scream. Sometimes I wish I had a way out. That wasn't so goddamn loyal.

Oh well.

Thatit for my rant.